Our words influence how we think about things. They give us the ability to group things and people, often along arbitrary lines. These two words are used to conveniently divide humanity down the middle on gender lines. However, as fast food chains have demonstrated, what is convenient is not always best for us. While we can use this convenient divide to say, “Men view women as a commodities” or “Women are attracted to assertive men,” both statements are both over and underinclusive. Some men are also attracted to assertive men. Many women are not attracted to assertive men. Some might be attracted to assertive women. Not all men view women as commodities. The gendered terms don’t fit perfectly or even very well. The words aren’t the cause of sexist thought patterns—but they’re certainly enablers.
Stop using the words “men” and “women,” at least temporarily. Try it for a few weeks. See what it does to established thought patterns. Your brain will need some categories to work properly—and maybe you can come up with more appropriate—or at least more interesting—categories. Do we say “men” or “women” when we mean “creepy sociopaths” or “people I find sexually attractive” or “people who think differently than I do” or “people who intimidate me” or “people with money and power” or “irrational people”? Eliminating the use of two words should reveal gender stereotypes we weren’t aware we had.
