How to be a Super Famous Blogger
Earlier today, Internet Flotsam wrote::
Oh, Squashed: why in the world don’t you have more followers?
Mr. Flotsam’s question was probably rhetorical, but I’m not going to let that stand between me and holding forth on Something I Have Feelings About.
First, let me say that I’m consistently flattered and amazed by the number of people who do read whatever scratchings I put up on the Internet.
Still, I occasionally wonder whether I could build the blog into something more … impressive. While I’m pleased with my follower count, I’m also aware that most of them are spambots and deactivated accounts. So … there’s room for improvement. There was a day when somebody important said I was the Best Political Tumblr. But that was 2008. Now? I don’t rank a mention on the spotlight. Not that I’m hurt or bitter or anything. (That’s actually mostly true.)
I suspect the primary reason I’m not a SUPER FAMOUS BLOGGER is because I just don’t care enough to put in the hours it would take or make the compromises necessary to get a bigger following. Or maybe I’m afraid of failure. But, for those who *want to be Super Famous Bloggers, I have a few rules you could follow. (I can’t be bothered to follow them.)
Act like a Super Famous Blogger
If you want to be mistaken for a Super Famous Blogger, dress up like one. That way real Super Famous Bloggers might think you’re one of them and they won’t be embarassed to link to your blog. Also, some Super Famous Bloggers like to talk in plural as if they’re just part of a large editorial staff. We here at squashed.tumblr.com think that’s kind of obnoxious.
What I’m doing wrong: My Tumblr username is Squashed. My icon is a picture of some squash with googley eyes. The URL is squashed.tumblr.com. My theme and site design are whatever didn’t look too terrible after my last failed experiment at CSS.
I could, theoretically, change it all to something a little less silly. I could use a very serious picture of myself as an icon. I could perhaps use my name or some more serious sounding pseudonym. SeriousPoliticalReflections.tumblr.com or LongFormPoliticalReflections.tumblr.com. I could even shell out the $10 a year or whatever it is to register my own domain name. SeriousPoliticalReflections.org. And I could sit down for about an hour and do a bit of customization to the site. I’m sure that would bring me more followers.
I could also proofread things more than I do. But … as embarassed as I am by the not-too-infrequent typographical errors that appear on my blog, I’m mostly just writing things.
Where I trying to be a Super Famous Blogger, I would probably also throw up ads on the site. This wouldn’t be about making money so much as it would be about signalling to the rest of the bloggers that my site is so popular that it makes money. But figuring out how to do that would probably take an afternoon. I’m not very motivated to be a Super Famous Blogger. I keep hoping people will love me for my wit and intelligence.
Promote your blog
People will know how awesome your blog is when they’re told how awesome your blog is. But you’ve got to get the ball rolling. Seriously, though. A bit of proactive promotion can go a long way. Initiate something exciting. Similarly, judicious use of tags can help other people find what you’ve written. Even some explicit pandering (“Reblog this, please!”) can help in limited circumstances. (I feel too awkward doing that sort of thing explicitly. But … see what I just did?)
What I’m doing wrong: I’m a bit wary about self-promotion. It’s not that I haven’t done it—in a limited way. But … I’m not really a go getter on that front. In the early days, I made a point to interract with people who were more popular than I was so I could look relevant. I really have no problem with that sort of gamesmanship—but it feels a bit awkward. Also, there are a ton of people following me that I’m just not following back—mostly because there’s too much to read already. (Sometimes because it’s important to me to keep the dahsboard work safe during work hours.)usually because they’re more into photo aggregation and my medium of choice is text. Sometimes it’s because they’re just aren’t work safe during work hours. Mostly it’s just because I just can’t read everything I’d like to. This whole blogging thing is a hobby for me. But if I were trying to make a profession of it, I’d want to do more interracting with others. I suppose it’s like any start of a business where you want to build some relationships for the sake of the business rather than just the sake of the relationships.
One thing that could been cool, for example, would be a set of issue debates between bloggers of different ideologies. Rather than thinking it would be nice if somebody invited to such a debate, I could have just organized the thing.
Use the platform correctly
Tumblr is designed for Tumblelogs. This means a multimedia experience focussed on short, hard-hitting posts
What I’m doing wrong: I tend to go on about things. You stopped reading this a log time ago. Okay, obviously you didn’t. But most people did. This is way too long for Tumblr. The most popular posts are going to be four or five sentences—preferably snarky ones. I also have this bad habit on weighing in on yesterday’s news when everybody is sick of talking about it. It takes me a few days to process things.
Unadulturated snark is quick and easy—but something more thoughtful is tricky.
Know somebody
As sad as it is, the easiest way to be a Super Famous Blogger (Say, Megan McCain) is to know other Super Famous Bloggers who you can interract with. In the early days of Tumblr, I knew Marco, which made me sort of the guy who hangs out with the guy who’s quasi-Internet-Famous. It also didn’t hurt that Marco was (at least partially) in charge of the Radar. There was one day when that early edition Radar page had something like four posts of mine on it at once. That was a great day for new followers. But … that was a long time ago. I don’t really have the personal in with any of the powers that be anymore.
Choose a thing and do it
Some blogs follow the theory that if you can choose a minescule niche and own it that success will surely come. That’s not really true. It’s more that if you choose a minescule niche and are also very funny you might get a very broad following. Or maybe you’ll just be obscure because it turns out nobody cares about you’re niche. But, at a minimum, it helps to have some general themes and stick with them. Play to an identity group.
I violate this one all the time. I’m on board with about 95% of the progresive’s stuff, but miss that remaining 5%—which tends to frustrate progressives. I occasionally write religious stuff—but the progressive politics tends to alienate a lot of people on that front. And I sprinkle in law-related posts. But nobody cares about the law unless they have legal problems. (Then there like, “Hey, Squashed, you’ve got to help me with this.” And I’m like, “Dude, don’t trust a guy named Squashed on the Internet who says he’s a lawyer. Protect yourself. (Also, please don’t construe that as legal advice because I’m probably not licensed in your state).”
Finally, don’t put up significant posts at 11:00 EST on a week night. Nobody will read them.
